Follow The Golden Rule

As most of you know, I have been blind since birth. I think of blindness not as a disability, but more as an inconvenience in life. But sometimes people are uncomfortable around those who are blind or physically handicapped. So I thought I would share my personal preference about how I want to be treated. This is just my opinion. Others with physical limitations may feel differently. Here is my list of suggestions about how to treat people with disabilities. 1. It’s ok to use humor. I often joke about my blindness as a way to break the ice or to help others feel more comfortable. For example, I might say something like I forgot my glasses at home. Or, do you need for me to drive? Humor always makes any situation easier. I don’t mind if you joke and laugh right along with me. 2. It’s ok to ask questions. If you wonder how I do something just ask. I don’t mind answering questions. Asking opens a dialogue and usually helps us both to learn more about each other. If you are curious about how I match my clothes, how I separate dollar bills, or if I can understand what colors are, go ahead and ask. Learning will make you more comfortable, and in turn, will make me feel more at ease around you because you are less nervous. 3. Understand that often the only thing blind people have in common is our lack of sight. We are as diverse as any other group of people. Sometimes people want to compare people with disabilities with one another. For example, I usually get around by walking with someone. I can use a cane, but I don’t use one that often. That is my personal choice. Other blind people travel independently with a cane or a seeing eye guide dog. That is their preference. I know some blind people who are excellent cooks. I can cook simple things, but I don’t like to do so. Again, this is just a matter of personal choice. There is no right or wrong. The point is that we don’t need to be compared with each other. We do what works for us as individuals. Just like everyone else. 4. Use a normal tone of voice when you are speaking to me. This doesn’t happen all the time, but sometimes people will speak loudly or more slowly to me. This isn’t necessary. I am blind, not deaf. Although I may need hearing aides soon, this is because of my age, not my blindness. Also, I can reasonably understand and comprehend what you are saying. I may not be the smartest person in the world, but my blindness doesn’t make me less able to understand what you mean. 5. If I haven’t seen you in a while, or if we don’t talk often, I like it when you identify yourself to me. This helps me know who you are without having to try to identify a voice I don’t hear on a regular basis. I have had some people ask if I knew who they were when I hadn’t been around them for years. When I didn’t know, it made the situation awkward for both of us. If I’m around you all the time, I know you by your voice or some other identifying trait. But, if we rarely have contact, I think it helps both of us if you tell me who you are. 6. Think before you speak. As I said earlier, blindness is more of an inconvenience than a disability. I have often felt that there are other physical handicaps that are worse than mine. However, I still wish I could see. I would love to be able to drive or to see facial expressions. I would enjoy looking at pictures or to be able to view the glorious wonders of God’s creation. So it bothers me when people say, be glad you cant see because that was gross. Or be glad you don’t have to drive because you don’t have to deal with stupid drivers. Most people are trying to be funny when they say this, but you would never say to someone in a wheelchair, be glad you cant walk because walking a long distance can men you tired. Most of us would rather not have the physical or mental disabilities we have, these things are a fact of life we have to overcome. We don’t want pity, but just use common sense before you speak. 7. Just think of the golden rule when you are dealing with anyone with a disability. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do you want to be included in conversations or activities? Do you wish to be perceived as a normal person? Do you want to be accepted and treated like everyone else? Those of us with disabilities want the same things you do. So treat us accordingly. Don’t put us on a pedestal or believe that we are better or worse than anyone based on our limitations. Judge us on the basis of our character. Like us or not because of our personalities. We are human. Treat us like you would treat anyone else. In conclusion, I hope I haven’t offended anyone. These are just my personal opinions and you can agree or disagree with me. I hope this has been helpful. If not just take it as a person sharing her feelings. This was not written because of anything anyone did or said, it was just something I wanted to express. Believe me. There are times when I need to think before I speak, be more sensitive to others, and learn how to be more comfortable around people who are different than I am. If we all remember the golden rule as we interact with one another, I think we will all be better off. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That’s always a good motto to live by.